I'm a completely emotionless piece of shit who doesn't deserve any attention. I'm losing Russian because my sentences are extremely rude, even when I try controlling it doesn't help, and I'm completely emotionless, and people who have emotions can't understand it. Imagine trying to explain a colour to a blind person.
Whenever I write something in Russian, it sounds extremely rude. Whenever I say something slightly inappropriate, it sounds off. Whenever I say something in all caps, it sounds like I'm mad/vexed; however, I'm not. It's just what I'd do in English, and the amount of content I consume in English daily is 10x times better than in Russian, and I should absolutely blame myself for it, and not interoceptive dysfunction, autism, and other stuff that I have. In English, I sound confident, I sound cute, in English—I'm on point! I catch mistakes, for instance: wrongfully placed articles and etc.
Russian is my native language, and losing it is a complete disaster.
